RIDGEWOOD, N.J. -- With Valentine's Day around the corner, we went to Upper Saddle River's Michelle Frankel, the Chief Love Officer and founder of NYCity Matchmaking .
Her Ridgewood-based, matchmaking and date-coaching service helps busy, commitment-minded singles in the New Jersey/New York City area find “the one.”
Frankel is offering a 10 percent discount to Daily Voice readers. Mention you read her tips here when you call.
What follows are her first date do's and "definite don'ts" for making a great first impression.
- DO have realistic expectations and never shut down during a date EVEN if you think you are not interested. He may be 5’9 instead of 5’10. Have brown eyes instead of blue. Throw that checklist out and get to know the unique qualities of your date. Your goal is simply to have an enjoyable evening and not figure out if he will be your forever Valentine. If you shut down during the date, forget about him introducing you to one of his friends who may be your perfect match.
- DO be polite, confident, and have a positive attitude. Smile and be confident. Laugh at his/her jokes. Positive reinforcement goes a long way in securing that second date. Your date will feel like you are both having a good time. Be easy-going, not all date plans will go according to plan and that is okay. Nothing kills a date more than rudeness.
- DO make sure conversations are two-sided. Pay attention and make sure that you are listening as well as speaking. Conversations on a date should be like a Ping-Pong match, back and forth, not a monolog. Ask him/her questions and pay attention to the answers.
- DON’T talk about past relationships . This is a big no-no and one of the fastest ways to squash any romance from a first date. A first date is about looking to the future rather than dwelling on the past. Furthermore, your date will end the evening thinking that you are not over that person; no one wants to start a new relationship on that foot.
- DON’T drink too much. You only get one chance to make a good first impression. On a first date, you should not have more than two drinks ever. Don’t get drunk, you’ll lose perspective and start making bad judgments.
- DON’T have your mobile devices visible. During a date your mobile devices should be kept away and should not be checked. There is nothing ruder than trying to have a conversation with a person who is more interested in their iPhone than you. Facebook and Twitter can wait.